Please MB?

May I please have a puppy?

After researching dog breeds, I have decided on the predictable poodle. I've been to loving shelters and horrifying pet stores in search of my new companion. Monday, I took a drive and discovered puppy heaven. When I walked in, there was a poodle waiting for my love. I held her, and put her back in the pen.

As the days passed, I could not get that puppy off my mind. Today, I found my car headed in the puppy’s direction...35 miles away from my apartment. She rested in my lap, we played around the pen, and she loved to have her belly rubbed. I finally made myself leave after 45 minutes. This time? My heart hurt.

Will I get the puppy? I don't know at this point. She may be my subconscious attempt to connect with another life right now. Tonight? I'm in love.




















That's my girl!

On Pins and Needles

Every Wednesday around 5pm, I'm on pins and needles. Will I be pissed off when I find out whom America sent home this week? In fact, Julia sent me a link to a site that offers a download of speed dialing software, currently unavailable for Macs. If there are any PC users who read my blog you can download the software here.

Back to the pins and needles-Today’s pins have little to do with AI as everyone sucked last night and they all deserve to go home. Yes, I'm including Mandisa and Katherine McPhee. Today, I'm nervous about finding out if my life will change drastically in a month. If I were being honest, an offer or a rejection would be ok with me.

With a rejection, I will take an ego bruise, but I will have the sunshine, a nice new friend, and a nice new dining room table. An offer would mean returning to my support system. Being in the city allowed me to see all of the wonderful people who contribute positively to my life: family, friends, and career supporters. Throw in the sacrifice known as graduate school and I have a good argument for coming out of hiding.

We will see what happens. If I don't hear anything soon, I'm going to need a new manicure.

Question of the day:
Is it me, or is Lisa Tucker suffering under the weight of the judges crappy feedback?

New York again?

My return trip to NY was longer, but colder. An emergency shoe repair on 3rd Ave, a quick run to Bloomies and dinner at the first place MB and I had a liquid lunch had me in the NY groove. Even though the audio guy was on my mind, and within 45 minutes of landing, I was having a shouting match with a public transportation worker, I felt like I was home.

Here are some photo highlights.

Barry and I Made it Through the Rain

This morning my blog entry began like this:

Well-meaning people usually have all of the prejudices of non-well meaning people.

I left the apartment feeling like the world was an ugly place dressed with PC talk. I returned with a second interview and hope that I would escape some of the aforementioned people. Then I was treated to Barry Manilow on American Idol.

Barry’s weeks are always the strongest. He clearly follows the show and always knows the contestants’ strengths and weaknesses. He also knows how to put together an arrangement that will knock the socks off American viewers. The contestants who could sing were amazing (with the exception of Lisa Tucker).

To listen to my favorite performance of the evening click here.

So much to say....

In the three weeks since my last blog post so many things have happened. I've had out of town visitors, blow ups at work, reality television dissapointments, and a whirlwind trip to NYC to pursue a forgotten job lead. Through all of these events, I've learned a little more about the world, and even more about myself.

Ten things I learned without a computer

1. A new hard drive is nice the first time around, the second time it's a pain in the ass.

2. There's enough reality television programming to keep me occupied for hours.

American Idol

3. Paris Bennett please stand still. I'm tired of seeing you bop around my television and we haven't even reached the second week of American Idol voting. Please don't make me hate you.

4. This week the women sounded pretty bad.

5. The men were worse.

6. Singing a whole song in falsetto on live TV is NEVER a good idea.

7. Watching AI with a recording engineer is like dining at the Olive Garden with a chef. I'm going to let out a big "Shut The Hell Up!" on the blog, because I really enjoy his company...and when I said it to his face he ignored me.

Dancing with the Stars

8. This week Jerry Rice out danced Stacy Keibler. Either way, Drew Lachey deserved the win.

9. Even though I enjoyed Dancing with the Stars, did we really need a two hour finale? Couldn't we watch Drew win for an hour and then see Desperate Housewives?

10. Mary J. Blige, how do you keep getting invitations to classy events? GTFOMTV!


My 29th Birthday was also this week and I can count the birthday wishes on one hand. What a non-occasion. Well, except for that woman who had a heart attack in the theater while I was calling the show...and the 3 people who vomitted throughout the day. Actually, I'm not bitter at all. I made so much progress on the "project" I've been completely energized. Now the countdown to 30 begins. Here's what I hope to have accomplished by February of 2007.

1. Lose 30 pounds.
2. Purchase a home.
3. Complete my staged reading and have the full production underway.
4. Be a Columbia Grad. How's the thesis reading coming Steven?
5. Have local people to celebrate the big Three-Oh with.

We'll see how these things go. I've been making progress with items 3, 4, and 5 the past few weeks and it would be a dream if the 2nd 30lbs would come off as easily as the first 30.


Question of the day:

Do vocal acrobatics make up for poor intonation?

My Baby is back from the hospital

1st my father then my computer. I have so many lab updates, hopefully I can get through them all.

Dates-Zero/Love-Infinity

Happy Valentine's Day

Even though I have not been on a date in months, this post is about love.


To see my father come out of the Markey Cancer Center with a smile on his face was a surprisingly triumphant moment. It has been a rough two weeks, and my father made it through like a champion.


The even bigger champ in this whole scenario is my mother. We are not the most affectionate family in the world, however, seeing all of the work my mother put into caring for my father over the past eight months has squashed any doubt in my mind that my mother loves my father. Her attention to his needs, her wisdom of life as a cancer patient and survivor, and her vision of the big-picture, really touched me. In no way is the hard road over for the family, but my mother is a hero and we appreciate everything that she does (even the things she hates like cooking…. and cleaning… and serving. Friends you see the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree).

Thank you Julia for all that you do. I love you mommy.

-Your only child

On to less depressing things--

Michael Bugno/MB/CLH. Thank you for supporting me over the years. Your friendship makes my world a better place. Your encouragement, honesty, humor, and kick in the pants is always right on time. The person who ends up sharing your life and love will be the luckiest person in the world.

MB-
ILYLYMD
-balcs

Enough with the sap! Get the Brittenum Twins of my TV immediately! Since when does being a half talent and a whiney bitch get you ahead? Wait. Let me remember "life on the road" and rephrase. SHUT THE FUCK UP!

You know what? I don't even need to tell them to shut up, because after they went to jail they were dropped from the show. Listen up all you wannabe superstars: Whining at the beginning of your career only gets on people's nerves. I don't want to hear another excuse on American Idol. Show me how you succeeded eventhough the situation was unfair. Crocodile tears get no love here.

JoMAAAAL (tm Kenneth Green...yes the same one)

Soleil's Dad left very touching comments in response to my 5AM Ramblings so I will respond directly on the blog.

You know it's funny. If I remember correctly, Soleil's Mom was in my African Diaspora and the World class. (Taught by a White Mormon named Dr. White...and maybe it was Chevonne not Shameika. but I digress.) How did our generation of Middle Class black women become uptight? We work hard to make the people who sacrificed for us proud; we work to create a new positive stereotype for the black woman; we've done all of this at the expense of exploring the side of our identity that exists behind closed doors.

Soleil's Mom makes me proud. Not only does she have an amazing education, career, and list of socially aware accomplishments, she's also managed to create a home with a beautiful baby with a loving (black) husband. She's living the American Dream, one that many young blacks (regardless of socio economic background) are convinced they won't achieve entirely, and your role in that makes me proud.

Enough with the sappy BS. I'm glad you saw a black sappy movie on opening weekend even though you need to prepare for the Oscars.

Oh yeah- I know we've had this discussion before, but YOU KNOW if Meik's hair looked crazy you'd be annoyed.

Crap!

My alarm just went off, and I still haven't been to bed.

My 5 AM Musings

It's after 5 AM and I'm still awake. I'm sure this post is going to be disjointed and crazy as hell, but what else am I going to do at this hour?

1. This for the ladies: If you suffer from intense menstrual cramps and you decide pop Midol all day long so you can seem somewhat normal, please remember that it is LOADED with caffeine. You may find yourself cramp free blogging the night away. You'll need to take the meds the next day to fight off your crabbiness due to lack of sleep.

2. People piss me off. I know that's nothing new, so I'll share my latest annoyances:

Issue #1

On Tuesday, The Washington Post did a piece on a study that ties political leanings to racial biases. (Deep Breath). Interesting, but the whole time I was thinking, "tell me something I don't know". Whatever. Then I stumbled across a link to an idiot's (namely Rick Roberts) blog with a response to the study. I'll just say, some people miss the point and I'll allow you to get pissed the same way I did. Enjoy.

Issue #2

Friday's Oprah featured the hilarious and now certifiable Dave Chapelle. This show was the most uncomfortable hour of television all week long. What happened Dave?

Issue #3

My love hate relationship with Television Without Pity and Starting Over must end. I'll agree, Iyanla does some pretty questionable things on the show, but the comments on TWoP have crossed over to blatantly racist and they make my stomach turn. The constant comparison of Vanzant's appearance to a donkey's is really beginning to make me mad. These people are just the type to really believe they have no racial biases. See Issue #1.



3. I saw Something New this evening. There were a few interesting things about this experience. The first was the email from MB with a synopsis asking if I was going. This is only interesting because I thought it was a movie for me/black women, I didn't realize that other people (especially gay white males) were interested in seeing this film.

I went to the movies alone and encountered the second interesting item. There were 4 other black women attending the movie alone. Hmmmm.... I must mention that by 15 minutes into the story the theater was packed with other black women, many on dates with black men.

There were three white parties in the theater, one was seated next to me and another was seated directly behind me. I don't know why that's interesting. It's 5AM whatever.

Now, let's talk about the movie. I could relate to Kenya in many ways.

1. She had a list of things she just "didn't do".

*So do I!

2. She had a list of qualities she wanted in a mate. (Employed, articulate, college degree, and black)

*This list doesn't seem too outrageous to me because it looks like my list. I guess the list is 3 items too long.

3. She was slightly anal retentive.

*You know, we've both got a lot of lists. I never thought of myself as AR, but people keep hinting that I might be.

Without giving the story away, I found the heroine to be sad and unsatisfied through most of the movie. On further reflection I wonder if I'm projecting my feelings on the movie. I'd be curious to hear what other people think.

I just ran across this review of the movie on salon. I believe the reviewer is white. There are a couple of things I would take Zacharek to task about, but this is the part that stuck out in my mind:

"Kenya is whiter than Brian is..."

You know where I'm going with that so I'll leave on a positive note. I LOVE Alfre Woodard! Between this and Desperate Housewives, she's moving to the top of my favorite actress list.

Disclamer: I am fully aware that I carry my own set of biases regarding race among many other things.

What a difference a day makes

In 12 short hours, I received a new job assignment through April; I drove myself to the car dealership and picked up my baby. The cost was half of the estimate and Audi handled returning the rental car. What more can I ask for?

The only thing left is to get rid of my sickness so that I can actually visit my father in the hospital.

(Adding the picture is sick...I know)

Some Days Life Just Sucks

I've been having a rough go of it for the past few days. Nothing monumental, just several annoyances poised to push me over the edge.

Let's start with my baby...my car.

After a wild goose real estate chase on Sunday, I left my dome light on in my car. Since I didn't have to go to work until 6:30pm on Monday, my first visit to my lovely auto was at 4pm. What did I find? A dim light on overhead, and a very dead battery.

It was raining, of course. No one had jumper cables (myself included). Finally, some guy and his girlfriend stopped to help. After two failed attempts to jump my car, I gave up, called Enterprise and got dressed for work.

While at work I noticed post - nasal drip that developed into frequent sneezing and slight misery. Julia and five people at work had the same exact thing. I vowed to go to the doctor on Tuesday. Would that be before or after I dealt with the car?

The doctor gave me meds, progressive sent out someone to unlock the doors (because fancy power locks, don't work without power, even if you use the key and not the remote.) The guy opened my doors, got the engine to turn over, but no fuel was going through and the car would not run. I needed a tow.

After 2 hours at the doctor, an hour waiting for the first service guy, an hour with the service guy trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with my car, and 2 hours waiting for the tow company of Frick and Overly Fried Bimbo my poor car was finally on his way to Audi. My father began his hospital stay and I was resigned to paying for the rental car for another day. Somewhere around 6pm, the fever took over and sent me to dreamland.

The dealership still has no idea what is wrong with my car that has been in their possession for over 24 hours and now I’m paying by the hour. My father is in the hospital all by himself after getting some strange treatment, and I’m feeling pretty guilty for a) feeling bad because I’m sick and things aren’t going my way and b) for not being with my dad right now as he goes through his scary treatments.

I hope that things will turn around soon. I’m finished ranting for now. I’ll do Oprah’s plan of remembering the blessings before bed.

Shout out to South Beach!

Tonight the fabulous, beautiful and talented Carrie Hartman was on UPN's South Beach tonight.

OK.... Just her credit was shown tonight, but we are convinced that she will be on next Wednesday. (Any excuse to get my tail back over to Holland's big beautiful plasma television.)

Congratulations Carrie.

Congratulations!!!!

Ding, ding, ding! Jomal wins the prize as my first friend to have a child.

Soleil Ariana Vailes was born on Wednesday.

Congratulations Jomal. I'm sure Soleil will bring you endless joy.

P.S. Your house looks beautiful.