Since you asked...

Here we go again.

I came across this letter on Salon.com. Here's yet another 30-something black woman who can't get a date.

I'm tired of thinking about this. I'm tired of reading about this. I really just want to give up. I think it's time for me to accept the fact that I won't be meeting anyone, I won't be dating anyone, I won't be marrying anyone. By the time I recover from this latest round of frustration, I will be well past my expiration date.

I'm never going to be one of those "fast" hyper-sexual women who exudes the promise of sex at every turn. I'm finished being forward, it just never works out for me. I'm tired of letting the man be a man, that usually turns into some controlling/borderline abusive situation.

For now, it's me, the dog, and the tivo. Occasionally I can visit my friends who've had the good fortune of finding a companion. Maybe I'll make some new friends.

As for dating?


I'm done.

(whew....that reads more bitter than I thought I felt)

Just when you think you have nothing in common

I learned something very interesting at work today. Just when I thought this person could not be any more different, I learned we have similar misgivings.

After careful thought, I realized that we are still very different, but my feelings aren't way off base.

Here's a little piece from SNL. This reminds me that everyone suffers from workplace headaches.

It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life...

Now that I have a new (full-time permanent) job my blog will focus on my latest obsessions: race and the anti-racist movement, the abundance of negative stereotypes of black women portrayed in the media, and reality television. Cheetos Rock! Have you seen Sabrina Bryan on Dancing with the Stars?

Here is a clip of Bryan on the dance floor:




(Go to 2:21 for the beginning of the dance)

The Resurrection

I'm slowly beginning to come out of hiding. I'm recovering from the disaster my life has become.

Most of the ruin is from my personal poor choices. Some of the ruin is from believing in people who don't believe in themselves, people who dealing with internal demons running away from the messes they've created. Well. I can relate to that can't I? While I sympathize I don't need to be witness to the madness, this time I must exercise a little self-preservation. Some of my destruction comes from my ability to see the potential in things...the other side of struggle can be glorious. Not everyone is strong enough to make it through the hard times and sometimes I need to learn the art of giving up or moving on.


Moving on...

All You've Got To Do Is Dream

Shooting at the Olando Ale House

Anyone who has worked for Walt Disney World has probably made at least one trip to this bar and restaurant, so when Julia sent me the link to this article I was stunned.


Well, it was never the nicest bar in the world, but it's shocking all the same.

Procrastination

I have so many thoughts about Dreamgirls that I can't begin to write a coherent blog post about the movie.

From the Jennifer Holiday controversy to Jennifer Hudson's Oscar nomination there is so much to say about this movie.

There were parts that I loved, including Ms. Hudson's performance of "And I am Telling You". I have never experienced a show stopper in the movie theater. In my opinion, Hudson's performance took me on a greater emotional journey than Ms. Holiday (of course, I was five when I saw Jennifer Holiday live, but with the power of You Tube, my memory has been refreshed.) For me, the movie recording of "AIATY" and "Dreamgirls" replace the original cast album as the definitive versions of these songs.

That's all for now. Maybe I need to view the movie a 6th time.

Here's my list of things to watch:

"One Night Only" on BET.

In the spirit of the new season of American Idol check out my favorite JHud performance:


My favorite contestant so far this season, I laughed hysterically at this audition:


If you are tired of singing check out Baxter's diary as he visits the grandparents while his mom works a crazy schedule.

Questions of the week:

(This is for the theater heads)
Is it ok for me to be bitter about Grease: You're the One that We Want? Of course I'm watching it, but when will America have enough of the NEXT blonde girl with a mediocre voice realizing her dreams of stardom? Never? Am I the only person interested in seeing how they cast the rest of the show? (Rizzo anyone?) To me Sandy and Danny are the least interesting people in Grease, and further, every school in America has done a production of Grease, does it really matter who lands the lead role? Trust me, the Broadway core audience, is not going to be paying off local drug dealers to get the hot tickets for this production.

::stepping down from the soapbox::

A break from Dreamgirls

In the meantime, enjoy some SNL humor.

Reality on TV

I've taken a break from blogging about Dancing with the Stars because we're going into a finale with Mario and Emmitt and I am knee deep in reality television heaven.

Team Hispanic Against Team Black...The New American Reality.


Since I'm on the subject of American realities, I hope everyone is watching Ugly Betty. Sure it's melodramatic and the title is intimidating, but it is a great show. The exploration of race and class often makes me think about the show for days afterward. For instance, on Television Without Pity people are slowly starting to recognize that Vanessa Williams character, Wilhelmina, is more qualified than the wayward son of the owner of Mode. Wil, the opposite of Ugly Betty because she is beautiful, fashionable, and comes from a well-to-do family, is also similar to Betty because she is a minority and intelligent, and that automatically takes a back seat to bloodlines. Ugly Betty is based on a telenovela, "Yo soy Betty, la fea". Telenovelas by nature are overly dramatic stories of women of the underclass crossing barriers into the wealth class. It will be interesting to see how ABC handles the tough issues. Immigration? Did ABC really want to go there? Whatever. You can catch the last four episodes of Ugly Betty on ABC.com.

The other thing I watched last night was "Soulmates", a documentary on the realities of black women and marriage. Lately, all of my conversations have been about the lack of suitable people to date and marry. While I have the discussion with both black and white friends, the tone is often different. The white unattached women seem to date on a consistent basis, regardless off how attractive they are. They also seem to think that they will eventually find someone. Which is very different from my black female friends who aren't in long-term relationships. The unpaired people seem to feel like they've missed the boat, and are trying to come to terms with the idea that they will be single for the rest of their lives. "Soulmates" echoes that sentiment, and encourages women to figure out how they will deal if they are never married (they encourage being completely wrapped up in your relationship with God.... it was Clean Heart Productions after all.)

Where does that leave me? I haven't given up hope. Once I'm finished working 20 hour days, I will begin doing some of the silly challenges I see on all my reality TV shows, some of those people seem pretty homely, maybe all I need is a little extra effort. I'll also see if I can recruit other people to join in. I'll post the results on my blog.

My first hurdle is overnight rehearsals; I'm not attractive at all on 10 days of no sleep.

What a Week!

This was a big reality TV week with Sara Evans' departure and the non-cliffhanger on Dancing with the Stars. Was anyone really shocked that no one went home and the scores would be combined?

I didn't think so.

Even though the Sara segment was boring, Jerry Springer's performance brought the drama.




While tonight's Dancing with the Stars wasn't a surprise the Project Runway Finale certainly was.

Jeffrey? Jeffrey? Not even Uli? Jeffrey?

I don't know why I put myself through this. I feel like I did when Carrie Underwood won American Idol. How underwhelming.

Now I'm looking forward to a happy hour of Ugly Betty where I can experience Queens NY without having to speak to a native.

Long Overdue

For those of you following Dancing with the Stars, follow the link to some breaking news:


Willa and Max were voted off Team White's island, however Sara Evans has decided to leave the show after filing for divorce. This comes as a big relief to those who were bothered by the fact that this lackluster dancer remained in the competition while better competitors went home week after week. Will they bring Willa and Max back? I hope not, even still that's a small price to pay to see the Delay endorsed non-dancer gone.


In other Dancing with the Stars news, Jimmy Kimmel uncovered Team Hispanic in a Swashbucklin' production number:



Knowing how to spot can make anyone look like a professional dancer. If you are sick like me and review the video multiple times, you will see that Mario is sorely lacking in turn out and pointed toes. I'm further convinced that his participation in Dancing with the Stars is fair.

If you want to view more Kids Incorporated clips go to www.kidsincorporated.us.


Celebrity Duets
Well.... that was short lived. Jai was ousted and the only "singer" left in the competition was Alphonso.

Take a look at the ever-popular Lucy Lawless. The only word that comes to my mind is FARCE.

Take a look for yourself the madness begins 1:10 into the clip.

I found another one!

I stumbled across another reality tv show!

Celebrity Duets is now on my calendar. First I saw this video of Little Richard.



Initially I wrote this show off, then I saw this clip of Queer Eye Jai:


I couldn't resist, one last vid of our little Tap Dance Kid...Carlton Banks all grown up:



Life is good.

I'm Back

Reality TV is back and so am I.

Let me start with Survivor: Race Wars.

With all of the hoopla over Mark Burnett's latest ratings stunt, I figured I would tune in to Survivor. How could I miss an opportunity to cheer on my own kind? So. Congratulations Mr. Burnett, you got me to tune in to the season premier. Here’s the thing:

I'm a reality TV junkie who hates Survivor, I don't care how many blacks you throw off the slave ship; I still don't like the show.

I've been watching for 30 minutes and I've already seen the black people take a break, the white people act like sluts, and the Asians lay healing hands on each other.

...And the contestants had hopes that this show would dispel some stereotypes.

How naive.

Moving on to Dancing with the Stars

First-
Let's hear a big “Peace Out Bow Tie Bitch” to Tucker. Although his performance was truly funny, I can't support someone that asinine in his day job. If you missed it, see below, pay close attention to Tucker's face.



Second-
Joey Lawrence was kind of hot in a grungy way, so different from his Blossom persona.

Finally-
Since Survivor Race Wars is not working out for me, I think I will play Dancing with the Stars: Race Wars.

For the Black Team:
Emmitt Smith-his ease on the dance floor, cool calm, and lucky pairing with Cheryl Burke make him a great contender. He single-handedly made viewers forget about Master P (aka "Club, Club, shuffle step, Club”) and Jerry Rice (charming but bad).

Vivica A. Fox (Yes Jomal, I know you love her name)-
Vivica was poised and elegant as any black lady over 40 should be on television (take note Mary J you have 3 years to figure it out), and she also demonstrated the requisite amount of rhythm for the race to support her in this competition.

Monique Coleman-
I had such high hopes for her because she was in High School Musical. Sadly she lacked star quality. I guess I can throw her some race votes until the competition gets really stiff. Given the choice between her and Mario Lopez, I'd have to vote for the dimples, sorry.

For the Hispanic Team:
Mario Lopez seems to be the only contender, although it is entirely possible that I've overlooked someone who identifies as Hispanic. Either way, Mario's performance was very strong and he will take Team Hispanic to the top 3. (I hope)

The White Team:

Tucker- already gone. Thank heavens.
Jerry- Too cute. Jerry is adorable in a way the George HAMilton could never be. I don't know how long Jerry will be around, but he can't dance so who cares.
As for the rest of the actor/beauty queen Caucasian pack it will be interesting to see who emerges as their strong dancer. Willa perhaps?

Project Runway:

I love Michael Knight. Carry on.

On a lighter note-

For your viewing enjoyment, the ultimate reality show. The local news:

Update

I still need to post about the month of May. For now, I'll give a quick update.

1. Baxter. He came into my life when he was merely seven weeks old. He cried through the night, had to relieve himself all day, and when I wanted to be up, he was sound asleep. I imagine my experience is a fraction of what new mothers go through. With that in mind, I may never have a baby.

Although I lack sleep, Baxter is adorable. I love the dog and my parents love him even more. I’m beginning to feel bad about denying my parents grandchildren…. just a little.


2. Currently I'm experiencing a mild crisis. Now that I've completed #4 on my "Pre-30" list, I feel it necessary to have a fulfilling job. My next gig is ending in 7 weeks and my lease in a different city is up in 7.5 weeks. Beyond that, I have no idea what to do with myself. The one thing I seem to know is that I must have my bed.

3. Lya's Fringe Festival production of Fantasy, Girl is coming along. Please pray that we all maintain our sanity. You can check out the show's website at www.2littlepeople.com.


4. Does anyone else watch Big Love on HBO? I realize that I carry my super-liberal artistic ideal of "live and let live" but Polygamy really pushes my limits. The show is well written and handles polygamy in the modern age. Sympathetic and humorous characters are well drawn and the viewer can forget that the lifestyle is by no means socially acceptable. There are disturbing plot points that really make me wonder how a non-Fundamental LDS would ever agree to subject herself-- and more importantly her children -- to a life of secrets and lies. If you haven't watched, the show can be seen On Demand through the end of the month. Trust me, you'll be riveted.

Question of the day:
Randal was booed on the Aprentice Finale this week. Does America know that their hatred for him is racially motivated? OR Are we all living in the dark?

May Flowers

May has been a very busy month. I spent 6 days in the Sunshine State. I will be updating the blog to share all of my tales.