All I want for Christmas...

Change is a-coming!

A big life change is on the horizon.

The final decision has not been made due to a last minute opportunity.

In the meantime, enjoy some over the top grandstanding.

Wow.

See? This is why I didn't like being on the MARTA.

clipped from www.youtube.com ATL Hoodrat aka SOULJA GIRL goes crazy on the Marta!

Sabrina Bryan v2.0

I'm in love with Mark Ballas!!!!




I loved this performance. I love Kristi Yamaguchi. I've promised myself that I wouldn't get all worked up after what happened to Team Sabrina last season. Oh Well.

Enjoy!

In other news:

Deam American Idol,

Did we really need another week of Beatles songs? People did the best they could last week. I did not need to hear a total of 23 Beatles songs right in a row. Really I didn't.

American Idol

Question of the Day:

Was Ryan Seacrest more obnoxious than usual on Tuesday?

I've never yelled "Shut the hell up!" out of frustration with RYAN!

Maybe it was just me.

See! It does happen in real life.

Angry Black Women

This is the most insightful thing I've read all day.

SheCodes wrote about the Angry Black Woman. Her analogy is brilliant and brought me to a greater understanding of the world as I know it.

Please follow the link and read the entire post.

clipped from blackwomenvote.blogspot.com Black American Women: What's the big deal? What's the big deal? Why are you offended? It's a question that indignant black women are contantly asked in times like this. In America, and increasingly around the world, there is a prevailing assumption that many of American black women are just being ultra-sensitive, hyper-vigilant, and, well, generally "angry" for deciding to respond to ridicule, insults, and even salaciously veiled threats. Two identical actions. Two very different reactions. ...the difference of public reaction and outrage is NOT due to the difference in importance of the actions, but the difference in the perceived value of the women who were insulted.

I'm so proud!

I'm so proud of my dear friend Rhonney. Besides being the most determined and dedicated person I know, he also supportive and smart.

He is a creative genius.

Below is a promo clip of one of his plays. It Goes Unsaid has enjoyed productions in both LA and NYC.

Please watch and enjoy.

Lighten up!

These kids are working it out!

Jeez. Now I'm Depressed

You know, things really aren't that bleak. Yes it sucks to be invisible. It's frustrating as hell. I must say "Don't you see me standing here?!" several times a week.

Everyone wants to be acknowledged. That's human nature. It's American nature.

The further truth is that there are things I'm pretty happy with. When I look in the mirror, I'm happy to see the face/body staring back at me. Ok. I want to lose 10 pounds, but who doesn't? I still look great in my bathing suit. I'm happy with my accomplishments, even if my current situation isn't ideal, I know that I have the background and drive to make things better. If nothing else, I can sit down and play the piano and have a creative release.

The frustration comes when I eventually say to myself:

How come no one else sees what I see?

That's probably why I have so many gay friends. They are free to appreciate and share those things without the pressure of having sexual attraction (or lack thereof) attached to any expression of appreciation.

Who knows?

No escape: Not Woman Enough

"And ain't I a woman?"

Racialcious guest contributor Tami wrote a very thoughtful post about how often people forget that black women are WOMEN too.


This post hit home for me because on my recent trip, I had an encounter with a couple from Italy. It was late at night and my travel buddy and I were out on the balcony having a quiet conversation as we enjoyed our last evening on the beach. First, the woman came out upset that we were actually talking, and then she sent her husband out. He proceeded to curse us out in Italian. He was screaming at the top of his lungs at 3AM. The people walking around the resort stopped to watch the situation unfold.

You know me. I don't stand for that kind of thing. I got up and walked away, but this guy proceeded to engage my friend in the end yelling "Fuck You!" in Italian.

In what universe does a 70-year-old man curse at two young ladies, who have really done nothing? We were not having a party, or laughing or playing quarters. We were whispering. Then it hit me. We are so low on the totem pole of social hierarchy, coupled with the fact that we were not even perceived as females, it was easy. We were not the same kind of human.

It is one thing to walk around the States and know the history and the struggle of black females in America. To know that this kind of prejudice is so ingrained in the culture that you just keep on keeping on because if you let it stop you there would be no living for all the anger. To engage with someone who does not share that history and to be treated the same way was:

HEARTBREAKING

That's life though.

Tami's words and the associated comments help me know that I am not alone in the struggle. I just don't know what that means. I cannot quite figure out why I care so much. Is it because I can't get a date? Is it because now that I am getting older I would love to have help hefting my 50lb suitcase into the car? Is it because half of my identity, the woman part, is largely ignored by society as a whole, and ignored by the men who look like me?

I talked about Damaged Black Men, but it seems that despite my efforts I'm heading straight down the path of Damaged Black Woman, and I don't have negative relationships with men to blame for the damage, this happened just by living.

Whatever. The good part about being a woman is having hope. Perception of black women cannot be this dismal forever. Can it?

Happy Valentine's Day!

HOPE

I love this picture.

I think I can do this....

There is an interracial dating blog that I've been following. I initially found this site on some black guy's blog. He was rating that Evia and Halima hate on black men by calling them DBR (Damaged Beyond Repair).

Black Women's IR Circle is quite interesting. I don't know where I stand on the issue of dating outside the race, but the ladies bring up some great points. The idea that really resonates with me is that in terms of sheer numbers, by limiting myself to black men only, I'm setting myself up for a bit of man-sharing.

Not an option!

The thought that follows is that eligible black men who are willing to date black women take advantage of the numbers and in turn shit on the black women who are "lucky" enough to date them.

Right now I'm just standing on the sidelines observing. Since I have issues, at this point I'd rather be by myself than date a DBR or a white man.

Whatever. This issue is so complex. The real reason for my post is the most recent discussion on Halima's blog. The title of the post?

Are black girls rapidly normalising the 'hierarchy' of who is worthy of love an companionship?

My heart stopped. The idea is so painful, but only because I know there is so much truth in the idea. Halima writes:

Are black girls rapidly normalising societies spelt out ‘hierarchy’ of who is loveable, worthy to be feted and whose hand should be sought in marriage. The sad thing is that I think our generation has a lot to do with this state of affairs, by being inert and refusing to unequivocally counter any campaign to declare us unlovable, and unviable as partners. We just stood their and took it, no doubt complaining, but still in essence ‘taking it’. There was no real and practical response when it was being declared that ‘it is good that bw should be alone”.

An interesting thought.

Halima continues:

I must add that 'complacency', 'indifference', 'apathy', 'shrugging of shoulders' is becoming a very big barrier to rooting out misogyny and anti-bw sentiments in our community, because bw themselves become indifferent to and even content to wear the chains placed around their necks and even celebrate these as ‘happy garlands’.

What about the issue of non-bboys ignoring bgirls. Do you think they are internalising this sentiment from seeing that bboys don’t even give fellow bgirls (apart from the near white ones), the time of day? And thus, are bg becoming invisible to them or are they absorbing this from general societal sentiments that have declared that bw are not serious relationship/dating material?

OK. These words are difficult to read. While I'm nodding my head in agreement, inside I'm screaming "What the hell were we supposed to do instead?!" How were we not supposed to alienate the few black men who would associate with us? How were we not supposed to seem different from the stereotypical black women when faced with some white women who wanted to sex up some black man? If I responded to everything that hurt my ego or my chances for dating, I would have nothing positive to say in any social situation.

I guess I'm willing to take the blame. That's what black women do, isn't it? Take the blame for every social ill that plagues the black community. This time, however, it is our fault, and DIRECTLY impacts our daily lives.

Now I'm off to read the comments. I'll probably want a drink by the time I'm finished.

ETA --This is one of the first comments:

It's a shame.

Black girls have been watching all the while black women have been degrading themselves by wasting their time, resources, energy, and youth with undeserving damaged beyond repair black males.

Black women have taught black girls by example the lie that their undesirable and must be content with this situation.

Another poster writes:

what really use to annoy me was knowing how so many young black girls in general would take their white female friends around black males in black casual and group settings (mostly in the states). It's as if some black girls are now actually part of the program to their own demise.

La~ this is what I meant when i said that I am often times get confused by bw strong need to be magnanimous and open minded in a world that is utterly unfair to them. In a sense like you, I think this does point to the fact that they accept their subordinate position and as you say are going a step further to actually facilitate it!

Guilty Again. I don't know that I've ever invited a white friend to a black casual setting, but if pressed by a friend, I'm often reluctant to say I don't want to bring them because they are white.

Jeez.

Looks like I'm going to want that drink to get through the comments...::sigh::

How many times has this happened to you?

This video is hysterical.




(hat tip: Racialicious)

The real problem with classical music

[A] young woman, sat down to Schumann, bending her back, lifting her head
and gazing straight up. Maybe God was sitting in the rafters just above her, and
she was using the opportunity to say hello. Both pianists were perfectly fluent.
They kept time, played the right notes and sounded expressive when they were
supposed to.

...lugubrious gymnastics like these advertise the feelings of performers, not of Beethoven or Schumann. Music is asked to stand in line and wait its turn.

Our two pianists might simply have been talking themselves into playing well and sharing the conversation with us. Maybe they didn’t trust their own ability to make music without a little theater to juice up the proceedings. Elaborate arm waving and heaven-bound gazes, at any rate, seem to have become part of the conservatory curriculum, like accurate scales and counterpoint.

I think Holland is missing something essential. This isn't about the performers stepping aside to let the music stand on its own, to let Beethoven or Schumann shine. This is about how people get a chance to perform in an expressive manner in much the same way that artists of other genres do. Now that classical music isn't reserved for the record player and to the elite in a concert hall...now that everything is televised and wild gesturing is a part of today’s performance currency, why do we expect differently. An audience that consumes MTV and BET expects a bit of showmanship.

What would make watching some stoic guy on television playing Bach be more compelling than watching my favorite rap star command the stage with lyrics and dance? Take away 20 years of music training and there is no way I’d be turning on Great Performances. With Emmanuel Ax’s style of performance that put me to sleep in no less than five minutes or Glenn Gould’s strange habits including moaning and humming through the Brandenberg Concerti; a little change in style of performance is right up my alley.

Granted, I have not seen the competition that set Holland in motion. There has to be middle ground. There has to be a way “classical” music can still appeal to contemporary musicians and audiences. I just don’t see how we are supposed to dismiss the performer who has got the camera’s focus and just concentrate on the music as if the performer doesn’t exist. I believe those days are over.

That's Entertainment

I interrupt my constant bitching with a moment of pure entertainment.

Sabrina and Drew are the most entertaining non-pros from Dancing with the Stars.

Oh Mary J.

Normally I'm screaming at Mary J. Blige to GTFOMTV!

Not today. I ran across this little gem on You Tube.




I LOVE tall-ass David Gregory!

I'm about to take a break from the election

This is an exciting week for me. American Idol just started Season 7.

We've done six seasons already? My how time flies. Anywhoo....


Before I get into my reality tv obsession I must share this little gem.

Melissa Harris-Lacewell debates Gloria Steinem, about her op-ed piece in the New York Times last week.

Click here to watch or listen.

Two words come to mind: Feral Cats

clipped from thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com

feral

• adjective 1 in a wild state, especially after escape from captivity or domestication

Food for thought

clipped from www.slate.com Cos and EffectBill Cosby may be right about African-Americans spending a lot on expensive sneakers—but he's wrong about why. Many in the black community have been critical of Cosby for blaming poor people rather than poor public policies. But notably absent from the Cosby affair have been the underlying economic facts. Do blacks actually spend more on consumerist indulgences than whites? And if so, what, exactly, makes black Americans more vulnerable to the allure of these luxury goods? Charles, Hurst, and Roussanov argue that it's because blacks and whites are seeking status in different communities. In the racially divided society we live in, whites are trying to impress other whites, and blacks are trying to impress other blacks. But because poor blacks are more likely to live among other poor blacks than poor whites are to live among other poor whites, poor black families are more susceptible to being pulled into a signaling game with their neighbors.

This whole article is thought provoking and interesting.

Read the whole thing here:
http://www.slate.com/id/2181822

Generalizations are never a good thing

Gordon from We Are Respectable Negroes responded to yesterday's rant.

I started to respond in the comments section, but I was so long winded...So here it is.


Between listening to the WAOD podcast this morning and reading MANY ignorant comments on Dear Black Man, my blood was boiling.

I wrote this post early in my day and dashed off to work. During the drive, I started thinking that:

1. My father doesn't make me tired. At all. He's been nothing but supportive of my mother and me my whole entire life. I'm a child of a non-deserter BM. I was guilty of the compartmentalization that I often accuse men (of all races). How can I attribute such a negative thing to a large group of people, and completely discount the most important people in my life?

2. My black male friends don't make me tired. Oh, wait. Sometimes they do. Moving on...

3. All black men don't make me tired. Actually, that's quite a ridiculous idea, especially given that I do not know all black men.

Gordon says:

The way some of these folks talk, black men who are openly hostile to professional black women and who only date white women are the majority. That's so far from the truth that it's crazy. If you see these types of black men everywhere you look, the problem is with your filter.

I don't actually think these men are the majority. Even if they were, I only deal with these people in passing because I make it a point to keep them at arms length. My real problem is that culturally, black women are being held to a double standard.


I have no problem supporting the causes of African-American men. I believe a crime against one is a crime against all (including black on black crime, but that's another discussion entirely) It just seems that black women are constantly being asked to support men at the expense of their own well-being and self-esteem and anyone who challenges an idea has an attitude. We're being told to sacrifice ourselves in one breath and then we're being told that we are not worthy as women in the next breath.

My mother says this is nothing new in America (then she brings up the Civil Rights Movement). This is simply new to me.


...as I write this, I see parallels in the Democratic Party and the black community. hmmm......

Powered by ScribeFire.

We are respectable negroes putting it down again.

I thought this was an interesting post. My father and I had a similar discussion this morning.

clipped from wearerespectablenegroes.blogspot.com Gordon Gartrelle says: The Democrats refuse to see the Wizard The fact that she is a Clinton is what’ll ultimately sink her. Feeling good about New Hampshire women coming to bat for their girl? That's nice. Feel this: do you know how many conservative and moderate women will come out to vote, not for a Republican, not against a Democrat, but against Hillary personally? People will crawl from the swamps to ensure she never sets foot in the White House again. If this is fairly obvious even to party loyalists, why are the rest of the Democrats so blind? I think it’s a collection of things: cowardice, strategic and ideological stagnation, an insider devotion to the status quo, and the all too predictable establishment liberal mantra, “White is right (to lead black people), black is awesome (but if it comes down to white vs. black leadership, black get back).

Black men make me tired

Ok.

I have to get this off my chest. This morning, I came across two websites that really got my blood boiling.

First.

What About Our Daughters

I go back and forth about how much I enjoy this website. At times I find the women screechy and I don't know that I actually agree with all of their messages and tactics.

What attracted me to them initially was the portrayal (and betrayal) of black women in the media. I wondered what we were teaching our children about the value of black women.

Every week they do a podcast with black bloggers on blogtalkradio.com. This week they discussed the New Hampshire primary returns.

Second.

I came across Dear Black Man: I'm Not Angry, I'm just mad as hell .

Intriguing.

The website features stories about ways black women can relate to black men in a more meaningful manner.

Nice. I guess.

After further review I discovered that it's not black women who are mad as hell, it's the black men.

The site features an open letter section where black men can air all of their tired laundry.

How are these two things connected?

Well, on this week's WAOD roundtable a caller decided to voice his concerns with the fact that these ladies were not Obama supporters. This was a surprise to the ladies because they are not against Obama, they are just trying to figure out the best candidate for them will be.

The caller (a black man) asserted that all black women should be supporting Obama, we should put our gender aside because that is not important and that Obama needs to be our choice because he is the first viable black candidate. Professor Tracy took issue with the request that she forget her gender to support a candidate that might not be best for her well-being. Another blogger then challenged Mr. Black Man to explain the issues that Obama supported that would positively change their lives. (I'm paraphrasing). Mr. Black Man could only come up with He's not Jesse, he's not Al, he's not Shirley Chisholm. Then he was asked what issues make him, (Mr. Black Man) support Obama. Same story. First black man as president.

hmmmm.......

As this was going on in the background I was reading this:

...Now she wants to be independent instead of us teaming up to build a dynasty. I really feel that BM woman wants to lead the BM and control all aspects of black life. More times than not when a BW acheives socalled success there was a man in the picture to help make it happen. The BW wants her own materialism. Once a BM has been burned in this way he very seldom ever trust another BW. Do BW hate BM? I actually have been able to build my businesses successly with out her. I never would have beleived that she was the one whom did want me to succeed because she wanted her own recognition. Now she now one the 70% of BW looking for a good man.

Here's my thing, I feel like everywhere I turn, I read/see/hear something that speaks to the problem with black women:

1. We're too educated
2. We're too outspoken or we have an attitude
3. We're too independent (A condition caused by the abandonment of the black family en masse by black men, even if you weren't a victim of said loss, you still consume it as part of the culture at large)
4. We don't care what happens to men now because we have so much for ourselves.

All of this is usually followed by "Who are you going to date now, you've got so much for yourselves now your all alone. Ha!" or "Welcome to the 70% of black women who are unmarried!"

Well now wait a second. If you really don't care about us, and we don't deserve your attention, and you're better off with out us and that's why you only date white women, then why do you need us to vote for Obama without questioning his position?

Why do you need us to not have our defenses up when you step to us in the club or at the bar?

Why do you need us to support you financially when the going gets tough?

Why do you need us to subvert all of our goals and aspirations just so that we can make YOU FEEL LIKE A MAN? Act like a man! Are you a man? Why is that not enough? Why must black women act like sub-humans in order for us to be feminine?

Why, after all of this screaming that we aren't good enough, that we aren't worthy, that we aren't pretty, that we are worthless; are we supposed to support what any black man does, just because they are a black man. This is not a two-way street, and I resent expectation. (Oh I could go on and on about expectations).

I'm done.

My Froggy Carr Obsession

This is the Mummers group that the kid in my police brutality photo belonged to. Clearly. They. Like. Beer.

clipped from williampennmanship.blogspot.com Froggy Carr to star in new Coors Light commercial The company was so very impressed by the groups consumption of the beverage on New Year's Day that Pete Coors, president, flew in to personally make an offer to its captain "What can I say, Froggy Carr likes Coors Light," said Mummer, Franky Cavanaugh.

My continued obsession with race.

I know that I'm supposed to hate Shelby Steele. I just can't get over the fact that I agree with 89% of what he just said in this interview.

(I hate Fox News...That has NOT changed)

Hat tip to We Are Respectable Negroes. One of my new favorite blogs.

clipped from wearerespectablenegroes.blogspot.com You know what? A broken clock is right twice a day.