Gordon from We Are Respectable Negroes responded to yesterday's rant.
I started to respond in the comments section, but I was so long winded...So here it is.
Between listening to the WAOD podcast this morning and reading MANY ignorant comments on Dear Black Man, my blood was boiling.
I wrote this post early in my day and dashed off to work. During the drive, I started thinking that:
1. My father doesn't make me tired. At all. He's been nothing but supportive of my mother and me my whole entire life. I'm a child of a non-deserter BM. I was guilty of the compartmentalization that I often accuse men (of all races). How can I attribute such a negative thing to a large group of people, and completely discount the most important people in my life?
2. My black male friends don't make me tired. Oh, wait. Sometimes they do. Moving on...
3. All black men don't make me tired. Actually, that's quite a ridiculous idea, especially given that I do not know all black men.
Gordon says:
I don't actually think these men are the majority. Even if they were, I only deal with these people in passing because I make it a point to keep them at arms length. My real problem is that culturally, black women are being held to a double standard.
I have no problem supporting the causes of African-American men. I believe a crime against one is a crime against all (including black on black crime, but that's another discussion entirely) It just seems that black women are constantly being asked to support men at the expense of their own well-being and self-esteem and anyone who challenges an idea has an attitude. We're being told to sacrifice ourselves in one breath and then we're being told that we are not worthy as women in the next breath.
My mother says this is nothing new in America (then she brings up the Civil Rights Movement). This is simply new to me.
...as I write this, I see parallels in the Democratic Party and the black community. hmmm......
I started to respond in the comments section, but I was so long winded...So here it is.
Between listening to the WAOD podcast this morning and reading MANY ignorant comments on Dear Black Man, my blood was boiling.
I wrote this post early in my day and dashed off to work. During the drive, I started thinking that:
1. My father doesn't make me tired. At all. He's been nothing but supportive of my mother and me my whole entire life. I'm a child of a non-deserter BM. I was guilty of the compartmentalization that I often accuse men (of all races). How can I attribute such a negative thing to a large group of people, and completely discount the most important people in my life?
2. My black male friends don't make me tired. Oh, wait. Sometimes they do. Moving on...
3. All black men don't make me tired. Actually, that's quite a ridiculous idea, especially given that I do not know all black men.
Gordon says:
The way some of these folks talk, black men who are openly hostile to professional black women and who only date white women are the majority. That's so far from the truth that it's crazy. If you see these types of black men everywhere you look, the problem is with your filter.
I don't actually think these men are the majority. Even if they were, I only deal with these people in passing because I make it a point to keep them at arms length. My real problem is that culturally, black women are being held to a double standard.
I have no problem supporting the causes of African-American men. I believe a crime against one is a crime against all (including black on black crime, but that's another discussion entirely) It just seems that black women are constantly being asked to support men at the expense of their own well-being and self-esteem and anyone who challenges an idea has an attitude. We're being told to sacrifice ourselves in one breath and then we're being told that we are not worthy as women in the next breath.
My mother says this is nothing new in America (then she brings up the Civil Rights Movement). This is simply new to me.
...as I write this, I see parallels in the Democratic Party and the black community. hmmm......
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2 comments:
Where are the parallels?
You got one crackpot to agree with a faulty premise, namely, that if black women vote for Obama, they would have to table their issues in order to support "the race."
What do you make of Princeton Professor Melissa Harris-Lacewell's Slate piece about her support for Obama? If you're familiar with her work, she's not the type to put black women's issues on the back burner.
I don't personally think that if black women vote for Obama that they are tabling their issues to support "the race" At. All.
My rant about anonymous men telling me what I should do in the voting booth and in my dating life set me over the edge. That was not about Hillary vs. Obama.
I'm not against Obama. I'm not against supporting black men. What I am against is being taken for granted. I am also against following something blindly because that's what I'm told to do to uphold the race.
Separate from that I find Obama to be an exciting candidate and of this date and time, I'm totally in his camp.
The biggest parallel for me is that black voters were taken for granted by The Democrats. At times we supported the Democratic Party (especially Bill Clinton) at the expense of their own well-being (welfare reform, 3-strikes, mandatory sentencing).
Re: Melissa Harris-Lacewell.
Thanks for the link. I find her refreshing, thoughtful, and exciting. She's my Dr. Cornel West.
As a matter of fact, I have plans to hear her speak this evening.
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